LOVE and MONEY Living Debt free with guest Kimberly Graham Artwork

Cash & Sass

Are you ready to ditch the hush-hush attitude towards money? If you're craving real talk about your finances, you're in the right place. Join me as we kick the money taboo to the curb and dive headfirst into the candid cash-versations you've been dreaming of. I'm Lisa Marie, and this is the Cash and Sass podcast. As the Sassy Wealth Queen and the brains behind the Sassy Wealth Coach, I'm here to take you on a thrilling ride from financial chaos to sassy and sexy money. I've gathered a squad of amazing guests to fearlessly explore everything under the sun about money, money mindset, and money management. No topic is off-limits – consider this podcast your judgment-free zone for all things money. I'm not just your host; I'm a fellow warrior who turned my business from food stamps to six figures. Now, I'm on a mission to share the secrets of sassy and sexy money with as many incredible women as possible. Get ready for an empowering journey where you can finally build a fantastic relationship with your money. If you're eager to break free from the money taboo, and ready for candid cash-versations then buckle up, because the Cash and Sass podcast is here to revolutionize your relationship with money. Let the sassiness and sexiness of your money begin!

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Cash & Sass

LOVE and MONEY Living Debt free with guest Kimberly Graham

February 29, 2024 • Lisa Marie Robinson • Episode 4

In this episode of the "Cash and Sass" podcast, host Lisa Marie and guest Kimberly Graham, both financial coaches, share their personal financial struggles and triumphs, emphasizing the importance of communication in couples' financial planning. They discuss aligning core values, creating a shared financial roadmap, and the impact of personal money beliefs. Kimberly introduces a "two questions before bed" practice to foster open money discussions and shares a case study to highlight the influence of background on financial priorities. The conversation also explores the role of money archetypes in understanding spending behaviors.

Importance of communication in relationships about money
Impact of personal money beliefs on financial planning
Need for couples to align core values and create a shared money roadmap
Approaching financial discussions without triggering conflict
Creating a safe space for conversations about money within a relationship
Addressing underlying beliefs and truths ingrained over the years
Impact of personal money beliefs on financial decision-making
Balancing individual beliefs and finding common ground in money management
Understanding one's money beliefs and communication style
Empowering women to take control of their finances

As a dynamic speaker and educator (wife & mom), Kim shares her wealth-building strategies with audiences worldwide. Her engaging talks are a blend of real-world experiences, practical insights, humor and actionable steps that resonate with anyone looking to take control of their financial destiny.

Check out Kimberly and Dan and take their free money quiz!

https://linktr.ee/KGFinancial

Please share, subscribe, and review our show. Doing so helps others who need this information find it and benefit from these empowering and sassy convos about money.

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https://www.thesassywealthcoach.com

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1:00:00

[Music]You're listening to Cash and Sass. I'mLisa Marie, your go-togal for all things money.As the Sassy Wealth Queen and the brainsbehind the Sassy Wealth Coach,I'm here to take you on a thrilling ridefrom the financial chaosto Sassy and sexy money.Hey, my Sassy friend, welcome back toCash and Sass podcast.And today I have my friendand another financial money coach in therealm who, by the way, I have to say,we had a coffee chat the other day and Iwas so excited. She got asexcited about multiple savingsaccounts as I do. And I didn't think thatwas possible, but we werelike ranking right up therewith all the excitement over it. So I amsuper, super stoked tohave her on my podcast today.So without further ado, let me introduceKimberly Graham. She's adynamic speaker and educator,wife and mom. Kim shares her wealthbuilding strategies with audiencesworldwide. Her engagingtalks are a blend of world, excuse me,real world experiences.That was a tongue twister.Practical insights, humor and actionablesteps that resonate withanyone looking to take controlof their financial destiny. And one ofthe things that I,excuse me, absolutely loveis the fact that you and your husbandwork together as a financialcoaching team, working withcouples on communicating about, hello, myfavorite topic in the whole world.Hello, right?Which, hello. And it's such a taboosubject. So tell me whatgot you into that? What,what are, where's something from yourmoney journey mistakes thatyou might've happened that.Yeah. Well, first of all, thank you somuch for inviting me and for, you know,for opening the space. I love openconversations around moneybecause let me just say there,there's so many people who love to, wetalked about this at ourcoffee chat. There's so manypeople that love to talk about these arethe things that youshould do with money. And thisis what money could do for you. And okay,we know that, but nobodywants to talk about the journeyof getting there. Like it suckssometimes. And it's important for us toshare those stories abouthow, yeah, we're excited. We're on thisside, but it took a lot ofwork to get here. And there aremoments even now where money sucks. Andit's important for us tonot make it such a taboosubject. But also talk about how much welove working with ourmoney and how much money can bea joy. And it can be a bridge to thethings that we desire forour life and our family.So to answer your question, my husbandand I had $76,000 of studentloan debt that was not mine.Okay. I always make sure like we'remaking that more known now.I mean, I told people before,but I was like, I don't want him to feel,you know, whatever he doesnot care. He says it all. No,this was not her debt. This was my debt.So he had $76,000 of student loan debt.That could not be consolidated. And itwas a lot of money everysingle month that went out anddo this. And I was like, this ishorrible. We're both educators. So wedon't make a lot of money.We made $56,000 combined in Maryland,which is a veryexpensive space or place to live.And so that was kind of like our firstlike inkling of all of that. And then westarted learning like,oh, wait, I don't really know how to talkabout money with you.Like I've never learned,no one's ever taught me, even though myparents are good with money.They never fought necessarilyin front of me about money, but I justknew we just never talkedabout it. So I don't know.It's I don't know where to start. So westarted figuring it out. We startedtalking about how wedidn't know how to talk about money andwe started talking about it.It's really much how it went.Long story short, 28 months later, wepaid off $76,000 worth of debt and wewere completely debtfree and recognized how the world is opento us that we can literally buildwhatever life we want.And it was around this time that werecognized other couples andother people and we would say,oh yeah, we're debt free, thinking thateverybody else wasalready debt free. Likethink about that worldview for a secondthat we thought that wewere behind. We thought, oh,we have to catch up. We need to make surethat, you know, majority ofthe people have to be debtfree. Right. So we're now there. So yay,we did it. And everyoneelse was like, no, this is notnormal. What you did was very abnormal.You're actually very weird.Why did you do that? I waslike, what do you mean? And they're like,how did you do that? And so then westarted learning, likewe're kind of weird. We're an anomaly.And why aren't people havingconversations like this?Because look at what it did for us andhow it's brought us together and howwe've been able to dowin after win after win after win becauseof the work we did together.Why are you not talking about it? And sothat's kind of what created this likeaha moment that we needed to talk moreabout it. So obviously thisis like eight years in themaking that was like eight, nine yearsago, but it's now come tofruition where we're like, no,we're ready to unleash our story andunleash the idea that like,yes, you and your spouse need tohave conversations around money like now.Yeah. And what I think is interesting is,and I'm betting that y'all found thisout, is that you probably both haddifferent money beliefs andmoney stories. And you had to figure outbecause they were different,you had to figure out how totalk to each other, right, in order to beable to have theseconversations. And I talk about this alot. You know, I tell my audience all thetime and I tell my clientsall the time, in order foryou to change your relationship withmoney, you have to figure outwhere your money beliefs arecoming from. In order to change it, youhave to get to the root of it.You can't just put a band-aidover it. And I also stress, excuse me, Ialso stress, sorry, Ialso stress a lot thatthere's good debt and there's bad debt.We need to know thedifference because if we leverage itcorrectly, it can put us, you know,further along. It can put us furtheralong in our business. It canput us further along in our personallife. And there's also baddebt. And when you have a debt,like you're talking about, that was wayin and down, it felt like you weregetting nowhere. No.That wasn't necessarily bad debt becauseit was, it wasinvesting in your education.And I know so many of my clients, and I'msure you do, and anyone,hell, I'm going to be honest, me,I have $80,000 in student loan debt.Look, I'm 50. I have come to theconclusion that I'm,I've paid off four of the loans. Okay. SoI'm going to give my shelfcredit where credit is due.It was a lot more. And I know that aslong as I have a plan, I can keepchipping away at it.And that's the, that's the thing. And myplan may be, may lookdifferent than what yours and yourhusbands did. And someone else's may lookdifferently. But whatI love about it is thaty'all work with the couple so that theycan learn how to communicateabout money. Because y'all,if you don't know statistic wise, one ofthe things that tears a marriage apart,not just communication, but communicationabout money. And I'm nottalking about whether you'vegot it or you don't. I'm talking aboutsitting down and talkingabout it and working togetheron it. Because when you're finding eachother, and when there's differentbeliefs, as you mentioned,and you know, like, going back to likewhat you said about debtbefore I go into the communicationbetween couples is that that was the onlydebt we had. I didn'thave, I didn't have credit carddebt. He didn't have credit card debt. Wehad a little bit ofsavings. We literally had nothingelse. Like that was, that was dragging astep like nothing. So toanother couple that comes to me ora client that comes to me who has like asituation of yours wherethey have maybe other debts thatare more pressing on them, you know, carloans or, or credit cardsand stuff like that, like,absolutely makes sense to focus on thosefirst. And, you know, thestudent loans are probablytypically not high interest. So it'sfine, you know. But for ourstory, that was the only thingstanding in our way. And so it made sensefor us to be like, well, andlet's just get rid of it. Sothen we're done. And we don't have tolook at it anymore. And Ithink what you said is absolutelyperfect. Every single story, every singleperson's like money story isdifferent. And going back tothose like beliefs of, of getting likeyour, you and your spouse sittingtogether and having theseconversations, it takes some seriouspersonal reflection. I think that'simportant for you tohave those personal reflection firstbefore you even come together.Because if you both, we talkedabout this in our group the other dayabout values, about corevalues. If you've never takenthe time to figure out what your corevalue is around money andwhat you truly want from yourmoney and simply saying, I just want moreof it is not a core value,right? Because more of it. AndI, you and I talked about this too, justbecause you make money, likeI, oh my gosh, I meet peoplewho are making $230,000 combined. I meetpeople and still broke,still have a poor mindset,still feeling like, oh my gosh, there'snot enough to go around,still feeling like all ofthese different things. So don't, don'ttwist it and think, oh, well,I just need to make more moneyand then it'll be easier. It won't. OnceI'm making 400,000 or500,000, or if I'm in thefifties, once I'm making a hundredthousand, I won't have this issue withmoney. I'm going to callbullshit. It's not true. Just going tosay it. And so when you startfrom where you are right nowand understand what are my core valuesand is my money plan, I knowwe were talking about moneyplan over budget or whatever the wordsyou want to use, what is myplan to make sure that thosecore values are aligned in my financialspending and are aligned inmy financial plan. And that'swhen you're going to feel fulfilled, nomatter how much money you'rebringing in. And so when youboth have had that, that in-depthunderstanding of what's important to you,when you come together,you're able to find those aligned valuesthat are the same. And then you gotogether after towards,after these goals, because if you don'thave that goal in mind,you're having a budget conversationis, is for what reason? Why do I need tosit with you? Why do weneed to have this conversationuntil there's an issue and all of asudden it's not a conversation. It's ablow up. It's tension.It's a yup. And you get nowhere. And youget nowhere. Andhere's the other thing too,is I tell people all the time, when yougo to do that deep dive intothose, what your core valuesare with money, what are your moneybeliefs? Now you've got to understandwhat your money beliefsare. And there's no judgment ever. I tellpeople all the time, there are nojudgments to your moneybeliefs. They are what they are. Theycame from situations, moneytrauma, money stories that weretaught, ancestral carried over. Youguaranteed you learned them a lot youngerthan what you may think.And, and you need to be able to do thatwork. And if you're not honest withanybody else about it,you need to be honest with yourself ofwhat those core, those moneybeliefs are, where you're at,so that you can flip that script. Becausethen when you flip thatscript and he's done the work,flip the script, then y'all come to, andyou know what your core values are,then you can have a conversation. Right.Because you both have a, a,a roadmap. We talked aboutthat too. We both have a roadmap. Oh, itcould be a financial plan. Itcould be a money. I call themmoney roadmaps, you know, because a lotof people go, no, they're not. Okay. No,not so. Yes. It helpspeople who are really, really tight.Okay. And I'm going to hear to tell you,I love my money roadmap.I love my budget, which is, I call mymoney management plan, mymoney roadmap. You can callit financial plan. I don't care what thehell you call it. I lovemine because it encompasseseverything. My core values, the things Iwant, the things I need,the expenses, and that's mybusiness and my personal. I have both.And when I look at it andyes, it has to be tweaked. That'sanother thing we talked about. Justbecause you create one doesnot mean you can set it and go.And you have to be able to tweak itbecause as me and Kimberly discussed.Right. And we just hada conversation about like things thatlike this past month, forexample, right? My husband and Ihad a home that we, a condo, we have twokids, three and six, butwhen we bought the condo,it was just me and him, but we knew itwould be a really great starter space.And we, we, our wholegoal was to pay it off as much aspossible and rent it out. Well, thingschange and our, our valueschanged and the way that we viewed ourfuture changed. And wewere like, he started gettingreally excited about being in businesswith me and being like, Iwant to help couples and let'sdo this together. And he's writing abook. And I mean, over the course of lastyear, things changed.So we decided in December to sell thehouse because we werelike, nope, this isn't going tobe something that we, we need to do rightnow, maybe later. So I waslike, okay, let's do that.Let's sell the house and let's rentsomething for a year andreally go all in on our business andthen decide what we want to do with thisvery hefty amount ofmoney that we now have becausewe sold the house and put it towards adown payment forever. Wedecide to live. I don't knowwhere we're going to live, but that's notthe point. But the pointis, is that life changed.And then the moment of January of findinga rental, getting firstand last, first and lastmonths or whatever security deposit,getting, you know, moving supplies,getting all those things,our budget changed like 10 times inJanuary. And you know what?You just roll with the punches.You're just like, okay, this is notsomething that happens all the time, butI need to constantlystay in touch with where my money isgoing so that we know how we're going toend the month strong.I love my money and I want to make sure Igive it a name. Itliterally feels like a blanket.Like that's like the visualization that Ihave about having like a money planthat truly is aligned to your goals. Itfeels like a warm fuzzyblanket. Like that, because youcan go to sleep at night and know billsare paid. We're fine. We'regood. I can go to sleep withoutworrying. Like truly. And for thosepeople out there that maybe not being able to payall the bills all the time, I want tostress that that's okay.Show gratitude for what you'reable to do and use that warm fuzzyblanket for what you were able to paybecause I'm sure Kimberly'sbeen there, but I'm going to go ahead andsay it. I've been there. Iknow what it's like. I know whatit's like to have to choose what bill I'mgoing to pay and what billI'm not going to pay, which oneI'm going to have to carry over to nextmonth and pay two months of.I know what it's like figuringout. Okay. If I'm going to be able topay, put groceries on thetable and pay the bill, or ifI'm going to have to let one forsake, Iwas on food stamps pointblank. I know what it feels like.And so I want to stress that even ifyou're not to the point to where you canpay all the expenses,right? If you're to the point whereyou're paying some of them,give yourself credit and use thatwarm fuzzy blanket to make yourself feelgood and, and have thatgratitude because I believewhat we focus on, we create more of. Sofor think we're focusingon the negative part ofnot being able to pay this, that's what'sgoing to come. If we'refocusing on the positive part,that's what we're going to welcome in.And I just think it's reallyimportant that we stress thatKimberly, I want to know what, how, whatare some insights thatyou would give a couple whoare looking at it going, okay, we kind ofbattle. What, what, what'sthe first step we would need todo? Well, we already said the first step.That's like really figureout where your money beliefsare and, and, and starting to shift thatand your core values. Butwhat would be the next step?And I have something called a safe place.And this is the reasonwhy it's like, people laughwhen we tell them exactly what they do,because they expect thatwe're going to say, all right,now look at all of your money and you'regoing to get all of yourbills together and you're goingto make a budget like right, like rightnext. No, I'm not goingto ask you to do that next.You know why? Because if I ask you to dothat, you're going to goback in the same situation,you're going to start bickering at eachother. You can startpointing fingers at each other.There's going to be a lot of like, well,you bought this andthat's the reason why we're inthis situation. There's going to be a lotof sass and we're all aboutsass, but not in this way.No, like we want to put sass in the rightspace is where it needs to be. Right. Um,that's not one of them because you don'tfeel safe with each other.You might have shared yourcore values with each other and that'snice. And you both are like,all right, yeah, this is whatI would like, but there are underlyingbeliefs and truths that you haveingrained because of the last,however many years that you've beentogether, that you're like every singletime we talk about this,it's going to end up in a fight. So whyI'm scared, I'm coming upwith like my, I'm ready to fight,you know? So like I tell my clients to,um, to start with a safe placeconversation. So we havethis thing that we joke about or you, youknow how like before yougo to bed and you're out ofsleepover and you're, you know,everyone's getting like all cozy andthey're sleeping bags. It getsdark. Um, and all of a sudden that's whenreal talk happens. That'sthe same thing that happenswhen you're married. It doesn't, itdoesn't change. Like the lights go outand all of a sudden you'relike, so I have this existential questionright before you go to bed.Right. And it's just like,everything's calm. So we have thesethings called two questions before bedand it's just startingto help couples create that safe place ofhaving conversations andthey're light questions, but theyget deeper. And it's like one of thosethings where it's like, man, can you juststream with me for asecond? What would it look like if like,is there a money win that you've donethat you've achievedin the last week that we can celebratetogether? Right. Like Ireally want to celebrate that,you know, we went to the gas station andwe were able to fill up ourgas tanks all the way. And Ididn't think about it twice. That wasreally cool. I would love to do more ofthat. Would you like todo more of that? Yeah, me too. It doesn'thave to be like this huge, likeexponential after everytime that you have this conversation thatyou're like, now we're going to bemillionaires. Like itdoesn't start there. It starts with thoselittle conversations. Yes.Celebrate in the small wins.Balance of like, I'm celebrating withyou, you're celebrating withme. And so we have a list ofquestions that you can ask before bed.And we just say, ask yourself twoquestions in this quietspace and don't let it take longer than15 minutes. Don't let it be somethingthat like lingers onforever. And even if it's a goodconversation, you want to kind of likebuild that anticipationthat I can't wait for the next time wetalk about our money. Andwe, the next time we dreamabout our money and cause that 15 minutetimer went off and wewere having a really greatconversation. So then when we start thenext step of like, okay,now let's start bringing inthe numbers. Let's look at actually whereyou are right now. There'sless of the, I'm ready to fightand more of no, this person has the samevalues. Like we've found a lot ofcommonality and I'verealized that we can do this and we bothwant the same things. Sowhen we're looking at this,let's, let's show kindness. Yes. First.So you build the communication.So you build the communication of themoney first, using small,so smart, using like simple,exactly non-evasive questions. And also,exactly. For some people,especially for the clients who,you know, there's in a couple, there'salways that one couple that's like, I'vebeen doing the budgetfor the last however many years. And theother couple or the otherpart of the couple is like,I haven't been looking at it at all.Right? So the person who'sbeen doing the budget is likefrustrated by this. And so I have,they're the one, they'rethe one that I have to coachbecause the person they're trying to getto look at the person they'retrying to get to look at it.When they're in this process, right? Theperson who's beenbudgeting the whole time is like,this is going too slow. But the personwho's never looked at thebudget is like, this is soenlightening to me. Like I'm actuallyhaving fun talking about money with myspouse. And I have totell them like, you have to slow downjust a little bit, let them catch up andthen we can go. But wecan't get there. If you try to pull them,pull them over to like thefinish line, like now youcoming over here, I've already done thiswork for the last 20 years.You know what I mean? Like,it's a process. But when they go throughit and they, they'reactually like, wow, like,we're actually talking about this andwe're not bickering at each other. Thisis actually awesome.Like it's a really cool transformation tosee. See, I love the factthat you do that becausethe whole point of Cash In SaaS podcastis to have candid money conversations.And you're helping couples do that. Andit doesn't matter where they're at intheir money journey.And we talked about this, we both haveseen people making several hundreds,thousands of dollars.And because of that scarcity moneymindset, or their moneybelief, they're still broke.They still can't tell me, I don't knowwhat you, they can't tell me where thehell their money went.Where is it? Oh yeah, I got money. Okay.Well, you know, they can'ttell me, they can't tell meanything they can, or they'll have moneyin their account, but they'reso afraid to spend it becausethey know they have this and they knowthis had this, but it's all in oneaccount and they don'tthink they can touch it because theythink they're still broke. And I thinkit's really important.I just think it's really important thework you're doing.I've told you this before,I absolutely love it. And you know,what's different about usis I don't work with couples.Okay. I work with women entrepreneurs whoare, she and I both, wesay, I'm high achieving.I work with women entrepreneurs who arehigh achieving, who areready to have changed theirrelationship with money so that they cancreate, retain and expand wealth. And what Kimberly doesand her husband does is they work withcouples. They can beentrepreneurs. And that's the thing.And that's the thing. That's readiness.Because you start, youstart where they're at. That's,that's the beauty of it. We both, we bothsay that we start whereyou're at. We can't pull youover here if you're over here. So ifyou're over here, we'regoing to start here and graduallyget you to here, then go further. And Ithink that's really,really important. What's,what are some of the, I dunno, some ofthe money beliefs that you've, thaty'all've had or thatyou've seen that have had to be turnedaround. There's so many ofthose. The idea. Yeah. There'sso many of them. Give me a couple of questions. So like I'm working with a couple right nowthat's coming to mind. And when we'reworking with them, it's been a lot ofthis. So one couple,one part of the couple, the spouse, Ishould say the spouse willthink we're good with money.I don't really need to know all the billsas long as they'reautomatic, it's fine. And thebills are what they are. And there's nochanging them. Whereas the other person is like, but whatif we do, you know, what if we, but Iwould like to get out of thisspace, like they're currentlyliving in a very, they're, I mean,they're making almost $300,000 a year,but yet they're stillliving in a, they're basically living intheir parents' basementand, and it's a nice house,but they have older children and I'mlike, don't you want to moveout? And so the other spouse islike, I don't want to live here anymore.I would like to move on. I would like to move on. I wouldlike to move on. I would like to, youknow, we have the nice cars and we have,we go into the city,but like what, we have nothing to showfor it, right? So forher, it's a lot of like,her values are, I want the house, I wantto invest more. I wantto work less. I want to,I want my money to actually look likeit's doing something. AndI, and for the other one,it's just like, it is what it is. Like itis what it is. And come to find out ithad to do with theirbackgrounds. She has family and overseasin different countries.She has no family in theStates. So for her, it's legacy. Legacyis important to her. Building somethingthat is going to lastthat if her family needs somethingoverseas, that she can take care of that.If, you know, like ifshe needs to, you know, quit her job orif she needs to, whatever, that she hasthe ability to do thatfor him, he has family in the States. Andhe also comes from adifferent belief where,you know, it's very laid back and chill.It is what it is. And sobringing those two beliefstogether and helping them understand thestrengths in those beliefs,but also this is a chance whereyou have to like lean into your wife alittle bit more. And thisopportunity in this particularsituation, we're going to lean on histhinking a little bit more.It's been really cool to seeboth of those energies understand how tobalance each other out. And yeah.Yeah. And be and be able to do what Isay. Why can't you saveand enjoy life now? You know,I had a client who said, I was alwaystold that, you know, themoney doesn't go with you.That's my mom.So you need to just enjoy life. And then,and she goes, and then I was also toldthat I need to save,save, save. Okay. Well, which is it? Ican't do both. And I lookedat her and I went, why not?And she just looked at me. She went, huh?I said, yeah. Why can'tyou save for later andenjoy life now? If you have a strategicplan, let me rephrase thata realistic strategic plan,because you have to be realistic of whereyou're at. You can do both.You can do both. There's noreason why you can't do both. And I thinkthat's really importantbecause that's almost what I wasseeing is one going, well, it is what itis, but we can either spendand we're just going to livethe bills and we can spend where we'rejust not going to be able togo and do this. And I want tobe able to enjoy life. And she's like,well, I want to go and get a house andsay, okay, there's a wayyou can do that. You just have to bestrategic. And then I love that. Some ofmy other clients arewant to, they have this perspective of assoon as I get money, I know that myprevious perspectiveor my previous experience with money isthat when I get money, Ilose it. So when I get a raise,I'm just going to beat myself to thepunch. I'm just going to,I'm just going to move it andrepel it as fast as I can. And they mightnot do it like in the wayof, Oh, I get 10,000 is I'mspending $10,000. It might not happenthat fast, but that is like, it'ssubconsciously, that's whathappened. So I got money in, might aswell spend it, might as welldo it. Yep. Might as well Yolo.Like, I don't know. They just like go forit. And then when theyactually sit down and theyrecognize it, they're like, Oh my gosh, Ihave every single timethat I've gotten additionalincome. I immediately like just let it gobecause I don't trustmyself with my money. I'm afraidthat I can't hold onto it. I'm afraidthat I can't spend itbecause some are save it becausesomebody else told me that I'm horribleat saving somebodyelse told me that my only,that I'm only good at wasting money. Sowhy would I even try to pretend to besomeone that I'm not?And it's insane how those words and howanother person'sperspective, especially our spousecan, can weigh on us where we go, well,if that's what it is, thenI'm just never going to bea person who has savings or investments.I'm just going to be aperson who has a lot of stuff.Well, and not only that, but if you alsocome from a background offamily who did that, right?Or somehow in the family, like I wasraised with you work, you pay bills,wash, rinse, repeat, work, you pay bills,wash, rinse, repeat. Youdon't save and you don't getanything. And I believe that. So everytime extra money startedshowing up, I can't save it.It's something else going to happen. It'sgoing to disappeartomorrow. And subconsciously,I was literally making it disappear. AndI look back now and I'mlike, Oh my gosh. And it was fromthose stories that were being not evensaid, but shown. Right. AndI had to flip that script.I had to change the, that thought processto realize, you know what,it doesn't have to be thatway. I can do both. I can have things andsave for later. I do wish Iwould have learned it a lotyounger or it would have come into thebrain a lot longer. AndI'm glad it came when it camebecause I'm going to be honest, I'm 50. Ihave a highest credit scoreI have ever had in my life.I have the nicest vehicle I have ever hadin my life. One that I don'thave to, if it breaks down,is covered under warranty and I don'thave to figure out where the hell themoney's coming from.Okay. If you've bought vehicles that paidcash for them and not hadany warranty, you understand.Where I'm coming from. And, and, youknow, I, I have nice thingsand I have an awesome businessand I have a different, totally mindsetwith, with money. I have a goodrelationship now with money.And I'm here to tell you that is thebiggest key is being able tohave a good relationship withmoney and full transparency, even whenthings are tight, evenwhen you're up leveling andlife happens in the middle of your upleveling or you're in a Phoenix risingmoment. I talked aboutthis because hello, I am. I'm in thatPhoenix rising moment. Stillbeing able to have your toolsand lean in and have that relate goodrelationship with money is what gets youthrough those momentsand being able to tweak the financialplan, the money roadmap,whatever it is you want to call itand being able to still be centered andgrounded in that goodrelationship with money is what getsyou through those. Is it still tight?Yes. Is it still sometimes ministressful? Okay. Absolutely.I am not going to sugar coat it for you.And it's a whole lotbetter than what it would beif you didn't have a good relationshipwith money. And if you'remarried a whole lot betterthan it would be if you weren't havingcommunication with each other.Yes. Because we've had many operations,many situations likethat, especially as a businessowner, right? My husband, Ihave kids. Yes. It's life.You have kids and you're married. It'slife. It's called life.He's working. We're hopeful that he canstop working soon.We'll see how things go.But I got into business five years agowhen my daughter wasone. So she's, wait, no,she's almost seven. So six years ago,goodness gracious, time goes by so fast.But yeah, so like, you know, we had tohave that conversation,right? Again, as two educators,I was making a little bit more at thatpoint. We were both inpublic education at that point,not private. So we had a little bit of abump up in money. But wewere wanting to get our masters,which costs money. And so we were like,all right, well, we got toput a little bit of extra in sothat we can get those masters. And thenit was, okay, well, you know,we have our daughter and sheneeds to go to daycare because ourmaster's classes don't enduntil eight o'clock at night.So there were some days where, you know,it was just, it was tightbecause an infant going to,you know, daycare is amortgage. It's another mortgage.Yeah, I was going to sayyou, it's a mortgage payment.It is a mortgage. So there are momentswhere it's, hey, this, yes. Oh no.I don't miss this. I don't want to dodaycare again if I don't have to.But yeah, like, so there are moments,even, even the peoplewho are doing really greatwith their money, right? Who know how tomanage it, who have goodrelationships with their money.I'm so thankful that my husband and Ihave learned thecommunication part of things,because as I was going into business andI said, okay, I'm goingoff. I'm not going to have aconsistent income anymore. Are you okaywith that? Like we hadto have, we had to have aconversation about like, okay, what'sthat going to look like? Andwhat's the, here's a businessone that I think will help some of yourlisteners who might be femaleentrepreneurs. Having thatconversation and knowing that, you know,his bills or his incomecould take care of majorityof our bills, you know, on the minimumend. And if I brought in$400 a month, we were good. If Ibrought in $1,200 a month, we could takecare of our sinking funds,right? But our emergency fundis intact. And you know, so we have allthese, or brainy day fund, asyou say, is intact and all ofthese things, right? So imagine thestress that I didn't feel being able tolook and at my businessand not feel pressure that I have to havemy, and this is what you hear in thisindustry, 5k months,10k months. We push that too much. Yeah,see, I didn't do that.Yeah. And see, I didn't do that.Mine was a little bit different. Mine wasI'm sole provider with me and my twogirls. And I was letgo for my job in 2016. And I was tired ofthe migraines. I was tiredof the tension headaches.I was tired of all the stuff. And I said,you know what? And I wasbarely making ends meet.And the highest I made was like 40,000for me and two girls. And I couldn't,insurance alone was waytoo expensive. So the girls were onthere, was on Medicaid because theycouldn't be on my insurancebecause they were my insurance. It tookpretty much my check. And,and, you know, I was barelymaking ends meet. So I decided, you knowwhat, I'm barely makingends meet. We gonna do it on myterms. I'm going to be at home. Itwasn't, oh, I need to go make that 5k. Itwas, I either make thiswork or I'm going to have to go back tocorporate. And I made harddecisions. I had my vehiclerepossessed. I was on food stampsalready. And I had to send aletter to my landlord and say,will you pro make, pro rate my rent fromOctober to April when I get my taxes?Because I knew I wasgoing to get a huge refund because again,I was sole provider of twokids and was not making enoughmoney. And you'd be amazed at whathappens when you do that.You get this massive, you know,tax rebate thing. So I knew I would getenough. And again,divisive people, she says, yes.And right. And it was, it was God sourceuniverse, whoever,whatever you believe in,it was, that was, that was what wasinvolved. Okay. To thisday, I know that. And now I'mcelebrating seven years making more moneythan I have ever made.Okay. Working corporate 20 yearsin corporate ever. Um, and it wasn't, dofive K, do 10 K. It was just keepbuilding. I say hell,first time I made a thousand dollars, Icelebrated. Then when I eateach, each milestone. And thebiggest thing was, is that first year.That was when I realized at the end ofthe first year, when,when the business grew so much and thenit stopped and it almostlost. I was like, okay,wait a minute. Why do I have to show forthis? Why am I still havingissues? Right? Because themoney was coming in, but I was stillhaving issues. And it was when I dug intowhat we've talked aboutthat was money stories, those moneybeliefs. And I went,ah, we're missing a piece.You can't do this without this. And thenwhy is those traditionally,like you and I talked about,we could create spreadsheets and sellthem on Etsy. Why don't we? Becausethey're cookie cutterspreadsheets and they don't work. Theydon't work becausethey're not built for you. Um,and I just, but I love that we have thesedifferent stories, youknow, different moneyjourneys. And we talk, like you saidyesterday, we are the other day, we talkabout the same thingswe teach is we might teach them slightlydifferent, but we have, you and I have alot of the same corevalues. We may have some that areslightly different, but we also have alot of the same corevalues, which like I said, y'all y'allshould have seen me. I lit up when shegot as excited about,oh yeah. Capital one savings that I did.And not many people do. She'slike, oh, I love, I was like,like, I feel like, I mean, like mysisterhood or something. Okay. I know. Itwas like, oh my God.Um, it, it was awesome. As we wrap up, Iwant you to tell people about your, um,freebie that your, your free offer thatyou're offering for the listeners,because I was readingit and I think this is like a big, Imean, I don't know. I justthink it's important. Um,because it tells you your communication.Yep. So funny because I was like, whoa,I made that, I wrote that out a whileago. I hope I wrote whatshe's talking about. Yes. That'sexactly what it is. So, uh, we'veactually created a moneyarc, like archetype quiz.So you know how those quizzes in Cosmowhere you find out like the type of like,that's exactly what it is. Right. So, um,way back in the daywhen you're like, okay,are you a springer? You went autumn, youknow, are you a summer? Andthis is what it means about you.But we made one of those for, obviouslyit's a lot more not, notas like, you know, Cosmo,but, um, but we made it for money, right?So like, based on howyou answer some of thesequestions about your values, they'rereally helping youunderstand what your core values are.And you're going to choose the thingsthat are the most like thatstand out to you the most,that stand out to you as the mostimportant to you rightnow. And there are different,there are four archetypes that we'resharing. Um, and there's somany of them. And these arejust the ones that we focus on and youcan totally ebb and flowdepending on what's happeningin your life. You can ebb and flowbetween them, but there's going to be onearchetype that is likeyour main, like that, that is your mainarchetype, your maincommunication style. And when youunderstand your communication style,you're going to be able to see yourfinances from a differentlight. It doesn't mean just because youlike spending money thatyou are a bad person, thatyou are bad with money. That's not whatthat means at all. Right. Infact, as a person who loves tospend money, I am a resident bougieperson. That is me. Give me all thevacations, give me all thepretty things that is me. I am the onethat loves to shop. Yes. Yes.See? Yes. Yes. Pretty things.And I also love managing my money, likelove it because the one, themore that I manage my moneyand the more that I tell it where to go,the more money I have toshop without guilt, withoutfeeling, it's just the best thing.Knowledge of power. I don't have to worryabout my husband rollinghis eyes at me when I come home with bagsfrom Target. He's like,oh, you went shopping? Showme what you got. It's the best I'mtelling you. So anyway, understandingyour money archetype isgoing to be really beneficial. And weactually have a master classthat goes with it that helpswe are able to personally coach you tohelp you go deeper in howdoes that work with your spouseand how do you leverage your strengths.So yeah. Awesome. Well,listeners, if you were a couple,I want you to please go and grab thisfree offer. The linkwill be in the show notesfor you to grab as well as her websiteand the links to gocheck her out. Thank you,Kimberly so much for coming on here. I'mgoing to tell you, youand I could have like manyconversations. So I'm pretty sure I'mgoing to have you backbecause we could just do like alow down on women and money. I know. Um,because you and I, like, Ithink we could have had ourconversation. Yeah. I absolutely thankyou very much for comingon. Thank you. My sassy friendfor listening and or watching us onYouTube. And until nexttime, we will see you then. Bye.Thanks for joining us this week on cashand Sass check us out onsocial media and on our websiteat www.thesassywealthcoach.com where youcan download my freemoney story start guide.The website again iswww.thesassywealthcoach.com. And asalways subscribe to the show to catchevery new episode and leave us a reviewso we can continue tobring you fresh content.And remember, yes, it is possible to havesassy and sexy money. See you next week.