Money, Self-Worth, and the Internal Work Behind Real Wealth with Diana Dorell

What if the thing standing between you and more wealth isn't your strategy? It's your capacity to hold it.

In this episode, Lisa Marie sits down with Diana Dorell, aka "The Dancing Goddess," spiritual mentor, intuitive healer, and best-selling author of Diary of a Dancing Goddess and The Dating Mirror. Diana has spent years helping women trust themselves deeply, embrace their feminine power, and build a relationship with money that actually feels safe and in this conversation, she brings all of it.

We cover why money behaves exactly like a relationship (and what happens when trust is broken), how using money as a substitute for self-worth keeps you spending without ever feeling like enough, what it looks like financially when your stress response is constantly running the show, and the powerful story of Diana investing $24K before knowing how it would work and the identity shift that made it possible. Plus, Lisa shares her own experience of trying to name a bigger income goal and feeling her chest go tight, and what that moment taught her about the difference between calling in more money and actually being ready to hold it.

If you've been doing all the right things and still feel like money doesn't stick, this episode is going to help.

What You'll Learn: 

• How to recognize when you're using money as a substitute for self-worth 
• What it means to anchor into the income you're already making before calling in more
• Why your identity has to catch up to your income or it won't stay 
• How to outgrow your family's money patterns without guilt or losing love 
• The real difference between fear talking and an actual strategic decision 
• What Diana's $20K investment story teaches about leaning in before you feel ready 
• How to start building internal safety so external abundance has somewhere to land

Guest Information

Diana Dorell, aka "The Dancing Goddess," is a spiritual mentor, intuitive healer, and best-selling author of Diary of a Dancing Goddess: How To Stop Playing Small And Have It All and The Dating Mirror: Trust Again, Love Again. A featured teacher in the 16x award-winning documentary series Navigating the Clickety-Clack, Diana has spoken alongside Dr. John Demartini, Joe Vitale, and Marie Diamond. She helps women trust themselves deeply, embrace their feminine power, and attract extraordinary love and abundance.

Connect with Diana 

Website: www.thedancinggoddess.com 

Instagram: www.instagram.com/dianadorell 

Facebook: www.facebook.com/dianadorell 

Free Grounded Goddess Activation: https://dianadorell.com/sassy/

Resources

• The Seven Money Pitfalls email series
• Private Voxer Coaching 
• Cash and Sass™ Podcast Newsletter
• Transcendent Wealth Co services

Follow Lisa Marie on your favorite social platform:

• Facebook
• Instagram
• LinkedIn

Transcendent Wealth Co. LLC
https://www.transcendentwealthco.com   

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Welcome back to Cash and Sass, the podcast where we ditch the shame, talk real numbers, and build bold, bankable wealth without sacrificing who we are. I'm your host, Lisa Marie, Fractional CFO, Money Mentor, and the sassy wealth queen behind Transcendent Wealth Co. Today's conversation is about money, but not in the way you're used to. My guest, Diana Durrell, teaches that money behaves a lot like relationships. When trust is broken, safety is missing, or self-worth is shaky, money reflects it fast. We're talking nervous systems, yes, self-trust, intimacy, and why creating financial stability starts internally and not in a spreadsheet. I always say that. So let's get into it, as I always say. And you know me, we're gonna dive straight in. Welcome. And my first question, I truly appreciate you being here first. And I just want to dive into it. Um, you compare in there, it says it. You compare money to dancing and which I love because I I think of it as a dance partner, right? And relationships. So I want to know what I want you to tell my listeners what do you mean by that?

SPEAKER_00 1:10

Yeah. So, you know, I see money as a partnership. It's not something outside of ourselves. It's like we get to collaborate and share and energize each other. And it hasn't always felt like that for me, but the way that I connect it to dance. So I come from a dance background, used to be like professional ballerina, is like it requires the same skills as dance does, right? You need like that stability, you need nuance and variety, you need to feel free with your money. And you also need to feel like money has your back and you have its back. Otherwise, you're gonna fall flat on your face on stage, right? You can't be just spacing out and hoping it all works out. And at the same time, there's this element of surrender, right? Once you've done all that you can do, then something bigger takes over. And that's the collaborative energy that you have with money. It's the same as relationships, it's the same as like anything creative. So I work with a lot of artists and I use the metaphors all the time. So I love that.

SPEAKER_01 2:20

Oh, I love that. Okay. So my question is how do people use money as a substitute of self-worth? Because, you know, and we're gonna get into even deeper because we were talking about leaning in and trusting and all of that. But how do people use money as a substitute for self-worth?

SPEAKER_00 2:36

So a lot of times, you know, this has come from like family programming or societal programming. And we think that because we own certain things, because we buy certain things, because we present a certain way, that all of a sudden we are more important or like we have it all together. And I think especially for women, this idea of having it all together is ingrained in us from a very young age. We are taught to please, we are taught to suppress our emotions, and we are taught to basically be just like overgivers with no ego and no preferences, and like somehow that makes us a good woman. And I'm here to just blast that shit wide open because it's really about balance with yourself. If you don't have any sense of identity outside what you are buying, outside what you are accumulating and building, then you're always going to be at the mercy of those things. And it's you're looking externally for something that will never truly fill you up. Now, when you have that anchored sense of self-love and self-worth, then you can make choices. And I love choices. I'm all about freedom. And you can totally enjoy your life. But any object that you buy, any way that you choose to present yourself or how you choose to dress is not for anybody else, other than your own pleasure and your own authenticity. And that's when the game changes. Then people actually bask in your energy, they want to be around you. You know, you hear that, like, she's got that it factor. What is she doing? And I'm like, it has nothing to do with the fact that she's wearing Chanel number five. She just really likes Chanel number five, and she's genuinely happy with her life, and that's why you want to be around her. Right, right.

SPEAKER_01 4:29

I want to go back on the fact that if we're constantly looking for the external things and constantly spending the money, then we're never gonna have enough no matter how much money we have. Because we're not spending it intentionally, we're not buying things intentionally, we're buying things because there's something else really going on, mindset or subconsciously, because we're looking for like what you're talking about, that outside factor. And when we are happy, and I don't say content, okay, because I'm not content, right? And I've made it very, very open. I'm very open about my journey from the food stamps and foreclosure and my journey and my business and all the shifts and all that business has taken. And, you know, mentioned several times about Phoenix coming in and you know, burning things down and making me shift, you know, and it's God's way of saying, Hey, you're not listening, I want you to shift, right? And I still love my life. I still love my business. So I may, yes, have am making a lot more, maybe some harder decisions, but they're still intentional. And if I wasn't in that place, I would be doing exactly what you're talking about, Diana, right? I'd still be spending because I'm trying to find something, right? Or I would be deliriously, you know, spinning off the edge. And yes, as a human, I'm sure I've thought about it. We have to rein ourselves back in, right? So it's really important that we understand that one, money is not a substitute for self-worth. Right. And it's not gonna, you know, people always say money buys us happiness. Money makes the world go round. And yes, you can buy things, but if you're not happy with where with who you are, then it's not going to actually make you happier. It's gonna make you more miserable because you're never gonna have enough. Because you're not gonna feel like you never have enough, right? Or you're gonna feel like it's gonna disappear overnight. So I think that's really, really, really important. What happens financially when someone's nervous system is constantly activated? And I'm gonna ask that because I I've experienced that. So I want listeners to understand that they may not see it as quote unquote their nervous system, right? Because people are like, you know. But when they're constantly activated, what does that look like?

SPEAKER_00 6:57

Yeah, so starting in the body, and everybody's different, right? But like tightening of the throat, right? Tightening of the tummy, digestion issues, feeling like you're constantly getting migraines or headaches and not wondering why. Like I work with subtle energy. And anytime a client will tell me that or they have a random backache, I'm like, okay, like let's look at the other component here. What are you afraid to release, right? What is an action that you are just ruminating over and over? And it could be about money, it could be about something else, but you're using money as a way to avoid feeling something, right? And it's usually about avoidance or denial, right? What are we denying that we feel? Somehow making ourselves feel wrong for feeling the way that we feel. And so the effect, I'm gonna go swipe a credit card, I'm gonna go feel better for 10 minutes, right? And then I feel shame because why did I need that thing? And like we go in this weird spiral. So, you know, how it affects your nervous system, it affects your sleep patterns. And in terms of money activities, it looks like an uptick in things that are short-term pleasures, right? And justifications. And also, I will say on the opposite end, you know, one of my big splurges, I happily invest in personal development and also my health. But there's been times where I now know, looking back on my journey, like I probably did that from nervous system deregulation, right? Because I didn't feel good about myself. And I'm like, this one program is gonna solve it all. But I didn't have the skills or the consistency built up to take advantage of that, right? And so like it isn't always about going and getting a thousand shoes. Sometimes it's about stuff that's actually gonna like help and change your life. But if your nervous system is not regulated to receive that and to anchor into that, then you know, you're gonna you're gonna create mixed results and think that, you know, it's everything is like outside of you's fault.

SPEAKER_01 9:11

Yeah. And isn't that the same way with anchoring in to the money that you're making already in your business before receiving more? I'll use me as an example. When I was first looking at scaling my business, and someone goes, Okay, you know, you want to make this much money, and I went to say it, and it was like like the tightness was everywhere. I was like, Oh yeah, you know what I mean? It was like, no, and it was like, and that was the first tip of okay, wait a minute, uh, why? Why not? And then when I go, oh yes, I do, but I was saying I do, but okay, what call, you know, this is in a couple of days, but what was causing that? And and then what it is is we have to make sure that when we are steadily making the money that we're making, right? Then the money that's coming in, that we're anchor, like you're talking about, anchored into it, which funny. My word for this year is anchor. Oh, I love that. Yeah, it's a good we have to we have to anchor into it, right? In order to be able to receive the additional thing, the additional amount of money. Because if we don't, I've seen it time and time again, we will sabotage it. It will be sabotaged. You will sabotage that additional money coming in, and then like you said, you're gonna blame everything going on when in reality we weren't ready to hold on to that, you know, going from $200,000 to $500,000 a year, or going from, you know, we'll say $10K to $30K a month. You nervous system-wise, you're freaking out. And if you're freaking out, you're not gonna keep it. It's you're just not. So it affects that too, right? Because I mean, I've experienced that.

SPEAKER_00 10:59

Yes. And also, like when you finally claim the amount of money that you want to call in, right? And then you see it, and it's like, well, how long is it gonna stay? Right? We we don't go into celebration and like honoring the moment, like, well, okay, I I claimed this desire. Here it is, it's arrived.

SPEAKER_01 11:18

And I dance, I met you, I celebrate it, I dance.

SPEAKER_00 11:23

Well, I mean, a lot of people, I know I like no matter what comes in, I dance. I love that. I think that's so important and so often skipped over, right? Because in a culture of high achievers, we're like, great, okay, what's the next goal? It's like, whoa, like slow down.

SPEAKER_01 11:40

We're constantly we're constantly chasing it instead of celebrating it and anchoring into it and letting, you know, and being there to receive more. We're constantly going after more.

SPEAKER_00 11:52

Yes. So the word that's coming to me right now is saber. How can we like saber it like a delicious meal? You know, it's like you're not gonna scarf this like beautiful meal down, hopefully, right? You're gonna enjoy it. And it's the same with money, right? What is the relationship that you want to have with your money? I want it to stick around. I want it to feel very comfortable to come in. And when it goes out, I want to trust that it knows where it's going out, right? But it's always gonna come back.

SPEAKER_01 12:23

Right, right, right. Yeah, I agree. I mean, I want to be comfortable enough to stick around and stick and be with me and grow. And when it's going out, it's going out intentionally to make the world a better place. And part of that is how we look at it and what we're making sure is being done with it, right? And that's when I talk about the bank accounts and all this. Like, I, you know, people laugh at me because I have so many savings accounts or bank accounts and but that's my way of being very intentional of where I want my money to go, of how I want my money to be and how I'm wanting to be spent. So I'm I am making sure that my money is comfortable enough and knows, okay, hey, this is where I want you to be. This is what you're gonna be, you know, used for, this is where it's gonna go. I'm being very intentional and it works because now it's not in just a one big huge bucket, which is for bills and everything, and then just get spent God knows where because yeah, our money to go spend, right? Because it's all in one account. When actuality we don't, right? So it's it I think it's really, really important. So I'm gonna ask a question, and I wish that I would have known you when I first started my business, because I think this is a really important question, and and it would have helped me when I was first starting my business. How can women begin creating internal safety for external abundance?

SPEAKER_00 13:48

That is a beautiful question. So it starts with our morning, it starts with how we show ourselves how much of a priority we are to the things that we say we want in the life we want to create. So, really anchoring into a sense of safety when we wake up, it's like, what would the highest version of me like, how would she start her day? And it sounds so simple. I mean, I'm not saying anything that people haven't heard before, but like to actually implement it in a way that's authentic for you, that's the trick. You know, there's a lot of people that are like, oh, you need to do five minutes of meditation, and then you need to do five minutes of movement, and then you need to like do this. And it's like, okay, great, but like if I don't resonate with meditation, it's not gonna look the same way. I don't, I mean, and I'm a spiritual teacher, and I will I will be the first to admit I do not meditate in a in a quiet room by myself for like an hour. That is not part of my makeup. I'm a dancer, I go for a walk.

SPEAKER_01 14:55

I told people that if I'm meditating, it means I'm laying down in the bed and I'm sleeping. And like, no, you need to sit quietly with your hands out. And I'm like, not happening. That just it's not, it's not happening. It's not. I'm like, I don't know if I'm wired differently in my DNA, and all these people were saying, but just meditate, or just journal, meditate and then journal. And I like, okay, again, once I'm in my head, no journaling is happening, and I'm not going to sit still and just it's just not happening. I like what you're talking about, the dancing. I can do that. I move, I day, I'll dance.

SPEAKER_00 15:35

Yeah. So it's like finding something that's sacred to you, and you may have to experiment for like a moment. Right.

SPEAKER_01 15:42

So, you know, some of my goos what what works for you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:46

Yeah. Like some of my go-tos, I do journal. I've been journaling since I was a little girl. That's like how I deal with life. But for somebody else, it might be, yeah, I'm gonna go lift weights. And as I'm lifting weights, I'm gonna be thinking about all of the things that I'm grateful for. So it's really about batching all of your, you know, like self-love stuff into what you're already doing. Heck, I don't care if you're brushing your teeth and you're just like looking at a post-it that says, I'm awesome. Like to me, that is a way of programming your brain and your nervous system first thing. Some of the worst things you can do to build inner safety, getting on social media first thing in the morning, getting on your email, reacting to the world, right? And that's the biggest distinction. Are you reacting to your life or are you responding to your life and creating your life? And that's the difference.

SPEAKER_01 16:39

I used to check emails first thing in the morning. I did too. Y'all have. And I and I don't do it that anymore. I stopped, I stopped doing that about a year ago. And now I have it to where I only check my emails twice a, you know, twice a day. If I choose to go in there and check them, that's one thing. But I don't feel like I have to go in there. Like I was in there this morning, but the reason why I was in there this morning was because Microsoft was down, right? And I got no emails yesterday, which was glorious. And at the same time, it wasn't because I was expecting one and I needed one to come in and I knew it was, but I couldn't see any of it. And so then this morning I went to go and see if it was fixed, and it was fixed. It was all there. And I'm like, awesome. Now I have like 80 freaking emails, and that sends my anxiety just for the record through the roof. Okay. There are some people who can see that number up there on that phone and it don't phase them. I am not one of them. Just Nayan. Okay. Like I have a friend who showed me hers, and hers said like 3,000 and something. And the anxiety that I felt, and it's not even my phone or my email, was like, I was like, oh dear God, that would just send me into a panic attack. I I can't. That's just no. Um, but actually, but that's normally I just I don't look at those things like a first thing in the morning.

SPEAKER_00 18:05

But you brought up a really good point. So I think part of designing an authentic morning or like an authentic routine for self-love and self-care could be for for some people identifying what it is that sends your blood pressure through the roof. So it's like, okay, like without judgment, what like actually really sends me to a spiral? And for you, right? It's seeing the numbers. So, okay, I know that it's extra important for me to build in parameters around email checking. Whereas for somebody else, it's like a three on a scale of one to 10. And I'm like, okay, well, check your email maybe after you have breakfast, right? And so it's really tailored to you. But to answer your question directly, like get a solid morning routine that puts you as a priority and sets you up to send a signal to yourself and to everybody and the universe, like, hey, she's fully online in her nervous system, in her brain, in her body, in her heart. And now she's ready, right, to offer her energy to the world. And I understand some people, you know, have kids and and are married and have like very stressful jobs, and all of that is true. And you are still important.

SPEAKER_01 19:21

You still have to do something for you. I and I have to remind myself that because I have kids. And I have to remind myself, okay, look, get get up 10 minutes early if earlier, if that's what's necessary, so that I'm able to listen to whatever I want to listen to, dance a little bit, and then I'm ready to go for my day. And I also don't want to check emails throughout the day, which is what I was used to doing from corporate. So when I started my business, that's what I immediately got into. And then I was like, okay, I'm not getting anything done. So then there had you, right? Which causes anxiety too, right? So that's when I have now I have this automatic thing that's sent out saying I've received your email, I answer twice a day. If you're a client, you have my number. If you need to talk to me now, you can text me. And if I'm available, I answer. Good for you. Once in the afternoon, that's it. Um, and that's been a game changer. And again, some people do it, have it where they answer every, you know, they go in their emails once a day, right? It's because we know that we can get mind-boggled down. I know I'm not gonna do once a day because I don't want to see 60 to 100 emails like I used to incorporate because that's all we had. And it was constantly 60 to 100 emails. And I'm like, I know I don't want to do that. So that's why I say twice a day. Um, but I'm immediately I'm in there and I'm and and look, if it's not important, I've already answered it after I've answered it, it's deleted, right? And if it's important, I need to keep it, then I move it to a folder. I'm organized, it's it's a thing. But again, it's fine, it's finding what I and I love that because it's finding what works for you, right? We had another podcast where I talked about this where I can if I'm in my head, I'm not gonna be able to journal to get it out. However, I can dance and move it out, and then I'm able to sit down and journal and write. So those are finding what works. Um and it got to a point where I was so aggravated. I mean, I put my hands down, slam it down to my coach and go, for the love of God, what part of do you not understand that when I'm in my head, ain't nothing going on a piece of paper? And one of the other coaches that was part of the mastermind, she was like, Well, I do this, and I went, wait, tell me this, tell me again. Okay, that can do. Like, you know, like I can okay, because you got to get it out of your body, right? Because when you're holding it in your body, if you're not releasing it in some way, right? And so uh just doing a quick two minute dance or whatever. And again, she says if you don't look silly, then you're not doing it right. Um, I promise I look silly when I Doing it and just being able to move that energy out. Then, if you feel like you want to journal, then journal. And that works for me. And again, it might not work for you, right? Diana journals. Diana does different uh dancing meditation, which I absolutely love. Listen to music and just move, right? And that I have another friend who does that. She listens to music and she just moves as a meditation type thing. I probably don't move that slowly. And I still dance. So it's finding what works. And I love that. One of the things that I'm curious of because this hits home too. And you and I have so much, you and I have so much in common when it comes to these things. So this is one of the reasons why this question, I put this down saying I wanted to talk about it. What does it look like to outgrow your family's money patterns with love? Because most of us aren't taught things about money, right? We're not taught how to manage it, much less talk about it. And so not only are outgrow the money patterns, but also the habits, right? The way we look at it. What does that look like? How can someone intentionally take the steps to do that?

SPEAKER_00 23:17

Yeah. So, you know, the first step is knowing that loving your family and choosing what to believe or adopt are like they're two separate things.

SPEAKER_01 23:31

Two separate things.

SPEAKER_00 23:33

Right. So, and really it's speaking to that younger side of ourselves that's like, but I don't want to lose daddy's love, right? Or I don't want mom to like think I'm greedy or whatever is going on when you think about changing or or letting go of some of the programming. So it's really anchoring into that like assurance. So step one is to like assure your inner child that you're still lovable, even if you don't like agree with everything that you saw growing up, or that was a part of your family line. And then, you know, really like doing something symbolic to reassure her. So I always suggest to clients tapping, right? I just have them lightly tap one of the points. So a common one is right by the sternum, and just say, you know what, it is safe. It is safe for me to be lovable and think differently than my family around money or whatever it is that you're trying to shift. And I still deeply and completely love and accept myself. Okay, so first we we calm that scared little girl or boy that's like worried that they're gonna be abandoned if they change. Then step two is what do I value now as an adult? So kind of separating yourself from family and what they want. Like, what are like the three to five core values? And what would I need to believe to live in accordance with those values? And then you can identify like behaviors or um thoughts, right, that you saw growing up. Like, I'll just give an example from my own life. One of the things my father really instilled in me was a love of fine hotels and the theater. So when I was little, he would take me on all his trips to New York City and he'd go to meetings and like basically leave me in this like really nice hotel that we never paid for because it was always paid for by his boss. And I got to experience really nice things. And I'm like, wow, I really love this. And he took me to the theater and the ballet and instilled the love of the arts, which is what I still do today. I'm grateful for that. But when it came to money, he was very adamant to say, you know, don't show what you have. Rich people are greedy. That's for them, not for us. Like, enjoy it while it's here, right? But it's really not who we are. And there was this like change in his tone. And I was daddy's little girl, right? So it's like I didn't want to upset him in any way. And I saw growing up as an adult where some of those scripts were coloring my decisions in business and also relationships. And it wasn't until I could see, like, okay, like I can love dad and he can love me. I can love the finer things in life and work accordingly for them. But it doesn't mean that I'm gonna be a greedy person if I'm a rich woman. And that was really, really, really eye-opening. It sounds so basic, like from the outsider looking in, but you know, he would randomly give me gifts and gifts of money because that's how he showed love. He didn't ever say, I love you. And I used to feel so ashamed. I'm like, does he think I can't earn my own money? Like, does he like, you know, I had this whole story about it. Um and then one day I was like, no, he just wants to give me money because he loves me, and that's how he shows it. Thank you, Dad. That was it. Right, right. No story needed.

SPEAKER_01 27:14

Right. I love that. I love that. The last thing, and I think this is really important too, is because this is where we're gonna get into that lean-in and and trust thing. Wanna talk about investing the 20K before knowing how it would work. Oh my gosh. And and it doesn't matter if it's 20K. I'm uh it was for you, it was 20K. For my listeners or who are watching this on YouTube, and for my listeners, it doesn't matter the amount of money. Understand that is not what I'm talking about. Okay. I'm talking about investing, and I don't mean investing into stocks. I'm talking about investing on yourself, investing in your business, investing on yourself. So whether that's self-growth, and for the record, I've been very, very, very intentional with my words this year. I want growth. I want financial growth, I want financial bank growth this year, okay? Because again, we have to be because the last two years I said I wanted growth. Well, I had growth, I had personal growth and self-growth. Okay, we're done with that. Okay. We want some growth because I have we we sometimes have to have those personal and self-development and the deep growth, right? And then, like I said, investing money in, you know, for your business, for the business growth, for your personal growth before knowing, you know, not only knowing I won't say if it's gonna work, but how it's gonna work. Because so often our human brains are like, how, how, and you know, a lot of times we have to remind ourselves it's not for us to know how, right? But I hope everybody just tunes in really, really good right here because we're gonna talk about what you and I were talking about earlier with the that leaning in part. But can you go into that for us?

SPEAKER_00 29:05

Yeah. So it was the first time that I had invested in a year, like year-long mentorship with a business coach. And everything in my body lit up when I said yes to it. And then of course, right, when I went to put in my credit card number for those payments, I was like, okay, fine. Like it was like I think 2,000 a month. So if we're being really, really transparent, all in all 24 gigs because you're right, because you were paying monthly.

SPEAKER_01 29:34

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:34

Yeah. And the first couple of months, I was still kind of, you know, in that light energy, like, this is possible. And then something around the third month was like, oh my God, like, can I do this? And all of my insecurities kicked in. And what I realized looking back now is it was requiring me to step into higher accountability with myself and to not give my power away to a coach, to a program, to anything. And I had to make a decision, right? I could give into the fear and be like, all right, well, maybe I need to get like a full-time job to pay for this or take out a personal one. Like my mind was spinning. And then a quiet voice, which I call my intuition, was like, no, it's just requiring an up-leveled identity of what you are used to, and you are totally capable of this. So get on the phone, let people know what you offer. Stop focusing on the payment and start focusing on what you have to offer the world fearlessly. A lot of people will say no, one or two people will say yes, keep going. And I was like, tears streaming down my face. And I remember getting on sales calls, like choking on my words. I'm like, oh my gosh. And you know, we had been taught this like fancy script that honestly never worked for me because it doesn't work.

SPEAKER_01 31:08

That fancy script does not work. Listen, everybody, okay? It does not work. I hate it. We are in the age of you need to be yourself, yeah, and you need to talk about how things can shift, but those sell scripts just don't work, and people can see straight through it. Yes, and I mean, so what I had to do, I I remember this distinctly.

SPEAKER_00 31:33

I was in my little apartment. This is before I got married, and all of this. I was like, I lit a candle, and I was like, okay, help me like basically rip up this script and just speak from the heart and also use my gifts, right, to laser in on what people are not saying because that subtlety, right, is so important, not only in sales, but also in relationships. Right, right. And so, because they're oftentimes like a prospect's fears are what you're talking to on a consult. It's not their higher self. And so I was like, no, let me speak to that higher version of them that really wants this dream. But that requires me to get into that space before I'm on that phone call. So it was just an elevation of my identity and also my ego had to die, right? I was like, my life is so much more than like focusing and hyper focusing on whether I'm gonna make this payment or not. Like, that's a very granular way of thinking about things. It's logical, but it's not everything.

unknown 32:40

Right.

SPEAKER_00 32:41

What if I stepped into a bigger space? And what happened like over the next couple of months was really astonishing. Like I up-leveled my relationships. I ended up breaking up with this guy who was, you know, like I had moved across the country for. And like my whole life to the outside world looked like it had blown up, but I was the happiest I'd ever been. And I was priming myself for the man that I am now married to that I could not have called in or received if I had been stuck in that like very small scarcity mindset. And so I thank goddess and spirit for that $24,000 experience. I mean, it taught me so much about myself and accountability and what I'm capable of.

SPEAKER_01 33:32

Yeah. And I love the fact that, like you said, I mean, again, you have to look at it intentionally and say, okay, you know, um, is this the fear talking, or has something shifted to where I may not get the sales and I need to do some cuts, right? So, you know, you're looking at it logically and intuitionally, and that's important. I talk about, yes, I'm a logical person because I'm a fractional CFO and a money mentor. And I don't come from that way a hundred percent. I put the holistic and the intentionality, the intuition into it because again, it plays a part. They both go hand in hand, and you have to look at both sides of things. You have to ask yourself, you know, when I had to make some difficult decisions last year of scaling some things back, I asked myself, okay, is this fear talking, or is this the current situation of where we're at, right? Am I coming from the scarcity, or is this the current situation where we're at? And this is how I can make sure that one, I'm okay, and I can get back to where I want to be, and then I can add these things back. And I was able to answer, I'm not coming from scarcity. This is just the current situation. It's temporary, it's a blip, it's a current situation, and that is big key is you've you being able to ask yourself and recognize what the answer is. And I just and I love the fact of how you said, oh, wait, this is fear talking. You were able to ask, and it was all fear talking. And when it's all fear talking, okay, why? What does it mean you need to do instead? Right. And and I think that that's just truly important. And so again, making sure that you understand which side is actually talking to you and making the decision from not coming from that scarcity or that fear, but making it of okay, this is just where I'm at. This is what I oh, okay. You know what? Right. This is fear of talking. Okay, what do I do? Well, I'm gonna go out and make some sales, right? Because if I had if I've been saying nobody's been coming, but I ain't been talking to anybody exactly. The actions have to match up, right? Y'all know how I feel about this manifestation, okay? I love manifesting, but I love active manifesting, okay? Sitting on our tush and going, I paid 30,000. Why is nobody coming and paying for me? That's not how this works. If it did news flash, everybody would be doing it. Just saying, I mean, if that's how Ryan, I mean if that's how it worked, everybody What would still be money? I mean, come on. I also And I know that there are people out there that have taught that and it still doesn't work. I promise you, that is not how this works.

SPEAKER_00 36:26

Well, and I also feel like for business owners, or if you're just like dabbling with starting your own business, it brings up all of our shit. Everything you didn't even know you had, all the time.

SPEAKER_01 36:39

And right there think you've gotten past it, just when you think you've gotten past some of it, news flash more shows up.

SPEAKER_00 36:46

Yeah, so you know, I I don't think starting a business is for the fate of heart. It's definitely a choice that comes with a lot of responsibility, you know, a lot of risk, um, and a lot of rewards. But you've got to be ready, or should I say, your nervous system and identity, right? Reconciliation have to be solid. And that is the internal work that no program, no coach, no amount of money can do for you.

SPEAKER_01 37:17

Right. And and yeah, yes, you can you can hire someone to help you through the process. Sure. And if you're not going to do the work, it's not gonna work. Exactly. I mean, it's just that's just the way it is. Um, I absolutely love this conversation because I it's just money plays such a big, huge important thing and and how it affects our nervous system and how it affects us. And I just I love all of it. And it's grounding and expansive all at the same time. For my listeners who want to feel calmer and more connected in their relationship with money, can you tell them about your I think it's the grounded goddess activation, or did you have a new a new no, that that is it?

SPEAKER_00 38:00

And I will um yes, we'll make sure that I get you an updated link for that. But I work with so many people that are high achievers that already know. They already know I'm in my head like 90% of the time. I need to get down there somehow. And so I created a very specific short, it's under like under nine minutes um for you to listen to. You can do it while you're, you know, washing the dishes, or if you are a meditator, bless you. You can sit there and listen to my voice. Um I have put a specific binaural beat frequency behind my voice. So it's specifically designed to get you out of anxiety and out of your head so that you can actually hear what's true for you and move from that place to make your decisions. So it's called the grounded goddess activation, because when we are grounded, the world is ours. When we are ungrounded, the world gets to us very quickly. Right. Very much. Grab that, it's totally free. And I wanna I wanna hear how you guys uh how it changes your day. And maybe if you don't have a morning routine, it would be the perfect thing to start with and just play it while you're taking a shower.

SPEAKER_01 39:12

Right, right. And new slide, y'all, I'm gonna be getting it. So you need to go ahead, you need to make sure you get it because I'm all about having different tools in my belt. Like that's just me. And of course, if this episode has you realizing, oh shit, that your money stress isn't just about math and it's about safety and trust and leadership, then it is time for clarity. And you know what I'm gonna tell you? Book a wealth alignment call with me. It's a totally free call. We'll look at how your emotional patterns, your cash flow, and your systems are working together or against you so that your money can finally feel supportive. The link for this will be in the show notes, as well as the link for the grounded goddess activation. And until next time, remember, as I always say, confidence and cash are the ultimate power duo. Go check in with your money. And as always, have a fantastic and wealthy day. Until next time.