Why Your Money Patterns Go Deeper Than Strategy with Peter Kolat

You can build a business. You can make good money. You can do all the right things on paper. And still feel off. Still feel like something's missing. Still, watch your income stay stuck in a range that doesn't match what you know you're capable of.

That's what this episode is about.

Lisa Marie sits down with Peter Kolat, life strategist, author, and creator of the Seven Human Drives framework, for a conversation that goes beneath the numbers and straight into the identity and belief systems that are quietly running the show. Peter grew up in communist Poland with an alcoholic father, where every money conversation ended in a fight. His first two beliefs about money: there's never enough, and money equals problems.

From running his first business 80 to 100 hours a week until his marriage fell apart, to learning how to steward money as a tool instead of something to survive, Peter's journey is a master class in what it actually takes to stop being controlled by money and start directing it.

This conversation covers the two core fears driving most entrepreneurs; why significance-seeking keeps you stuck in lifestyle inflation; what "blind agreements" are and how to break them; and the one practice Peter calls "stare at the wall time," which Lisa admits she needs immediately.

What You'll Learn

• How growing up in scarcity shapes your money identity in ways that follow you into business 
• Why successful people still struggle financially, even when the income is there 
• The two core fears Peter identifies in every entrepreneur: Am I loved? Am I enough?
• Why chasing significance leads to big income and an empty bank account 
• What "blind agreements" are and how to identify the ones running your financial decisions 
• How to move from being controlled by money to stewarding it with intention 
• The role of faith and trust in building wealth that actually feels good 
• What "stare at the wall time" is, and why it might be the most important business practice you're not doing 
• How to start replacing old beliefs through small, repeated actions

Guest Information

Peter Kolat is a life strategist, speaker, and author whose work is rooted in helping people uncover the blind agreements, inherited beliefs, and identity patterns that keep them from living fully. Through his company Life On Air, Peter and his team have hosted events across the country, helping thousands of people reconnect with their authentic selves and build lives aligned with what they actually want, not what they've been told to want. His framework, the Seven Human Drives, builds on the work of Tony Robbins and adds a critical element that Peter believes most conversations leave out: faith.

Connect with Peter Kolat Website: https://myauthenticrebirth.com 

Free Assessment (7 Human Drives): https://7drives.myauthenticrebirth.com/wbRQdP 

Book: The Authentic Rebirth

Resources

• The Seven Money Pitfalls email series
• Private Voxer Coaching 
• Cash and Sass™ Podcast Newsletter
• Transcendent Wealth Co services

Follow Lisa Marie on your favorite social platform:

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Transcendent Wealth Co. LLC
https://www.transcendentwealthco.com   

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome back to Cash and Sass, the podcast where we did check the shame, talk real numbers, and build bold, bankable wealth without sacrificing who we are. I'm your host, Lisa Marie, fractional CFO, wealth mentor, and the sassy wealth queen behind Transcendent Wealth Co. And if you're ready to scale with strategy, own your power, and finally feel wealthy in every sense of the word, then you're in the right place. Today's conversation, y'all, this one goes deeper than numbers because you can make money, grow your business, and still feel off, still feel disconnected, still feel like something's missing. And that's exactly what we're diving in today. I've got Polish Peter Collette joining me, and we're talking about what's really underneath your money patterns, your identity, your past, and the beliefs you didn't even realize were running the show. So if you've ever felt like you're doing all the right things, but something still isn't clicking, then this episode is for you. And as I always say, let's dive right into it. Thank you for being on my show. I truly appreciate it. Um, you said that you've lived through massive transformation. How did your early experiences shape your relationship with money?

SPEAKER_01 1:12

Well, first and foremost, thank you for having me on the podcast. I really appreciate it, Lisa. Um, so to answer your question earlier, you know, so back in the day when I was up until about eight years old or so, I lived in the communist Poland. And that was a very scarcity-based. And so, how it shaped my relationship with money. So, my dad was an alcoholic. He was constantly kind of in the bar. I don't remember having a relationship with him, kind of thing. And every single time there was a conversation in my household about money, ended up in a fight. You know, not a problem. At least that was my interpretation of it, meaning growing up, right? So the way it shaped my relationship with money, one, is there is never enough of it. And two, uh, and think about it this way, growing up as a little kid, uh you start looking for all kinds of different reasons. So I'm looking in the fridge, there is eight, no, six eggs in the fridge, kind of a thing, right? So there's scarcity, there's never enough money. And then the second part is money equals problems, right? Because every single time there was some kind of a, you know, with my parents, it was about money and it was fighting, it was problems. So that was my first kind of before I even knew what money really was, it was my view about money.

SPEAKER_00 2:27

I love that. But how did it shift for you from there to how you are experiencing the money now? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:34

Yeah. So, you know, if I like look at it, so there was the first part of my life, I would say when I came here to the United States, even into my mid-30s, when I was my first business that I've had when I started in 2007, I was driven by this scarcity-based money conversation. And the way it was shaping my life back then, my business back then, is I had to do everything myself because one, I can't hire anybody. I don't have money to hire anybody. Uh, I can't hire anybody. And by the way, nobody can do what is better as good than me, right? We never had that conversation, did we? And it has to be done perfect, you know. And the way that came up for me is because my uncle built his entire house, and I watched him build his entire house from you know bottom up, all the furniture and everything in it. So, and he had to be very, you know, perfect doing that. So all that grew my business that way. When I say grew my business, it basically I was working about 80, 100 hours a week running the business running me and my life. And it did not end up, you know, in a good place because in the end of 2010, my wife came to me, she said she wants a divorce. So obviously that money conversation didn't. So after that, I literally started looking from the perspective of what is it that, you know, I asked that question, what the hell is wrong with me? kind of a thing. And I started diving deep in and being awakened to what the money conversation is about. And one of the things I discovered is this money equals problems. Well, then I looked at it from the perspective, I'm like, listen, there are so many successful people in life that have a good relationship with money, they have a lot of money. They have, you know, I don't think they view it as money equals problems because one, they're not greedy, they're giving money back, they have charities, they give to charities. So what is it? So I started looking from the perspective of the money as a tool. Money is something that is just there. There is no, doesn't have any emotions, doesn't have anything, it just does what it does, right? It's my interpretation of that money that makes it do, you know, be a certain way. So as I started reshaping that conversation in my head, I start looking from the perspective, I started another business, and I go, okay, so how can I hire someone? Who can I talk to? Who can I hire in a way that their basically their position pays for themselves? And I started looking from that perspective, and all of a sudden start hiring one person, another person, start coaching people on it, and things like that. And that conversation started shifting. And I started as opposed to me being controlled by money, I started looking from the perspective, how can I control money? Where do I guide it? How do I steward it? Like every single dollar in my that comes into my life is either a servant and it's some kind of an employee, or it's a fun money, or it's like you know, wasteful money, or whatever, but every one of them has some kind of a designation. And it's not that it's all one kind of a thing. Does that make sense? Like before everything was problems.

SPEAKER_00 5:38

No, it's very similar to what I say. There's a place for it all comes in and there's a specific place where it's going and what use it's going to be used for. And I talk about the buckets all the time, like having it allocated for specific things, because when we do that, we are not letting money control us. We're in charge and we're saying, okay, this is what it's for. And it also helps eliminate as much overspending, that overspending of without thinking about it that I see so often. So I absolutely love how you're saying that you're seeing that. I want us to talk about though, like the identity internal work and how does that directly impact someone's financial income and financial decisions? Because I think it does. And I would love to hear how you think about that and what you see.

SPEAKER_01 6:26

Right. So, yeah. So remember, back in the day, I was like, money is problems. So nobody wants to have problems, right? I don't have problems in my life. Do you? I don't, you know, only so, but the thing is now obviously that doesn't work for me. So the way I shifted this, you know, narrative in my head, because think about it, it's a meaning that will associate about money, right? It's some kind of a meaning that I'm putting in there. So the way I started shifting, I started questioning it that is this really true? If I go and take this dollar and I looked at the dollar and I go, we have events around the you know country with a company called Life on there, we do these events, and at one point in the event, we pull out the dollar, have everybody pull out a dollar, and say, listen, tell me, when you look at this dollar, what do you see? What do you hear? How does that make you feel? What like look beyond the dollar? And a lot of people will say, Well, it's uh it's a handcuffs, it's a golden handcuffs. And by the way, we hear this a lot from people who have a W-2 job, right? Golden handcuffs. And so it's the meaning that we associate it. So now what I the way I shifted that conversation in my head is like, how can I steward that money? What if I'm a steward? Because, like, in full disclosure, I'm a Christian, right? So my belief system says that money is not my money, it's God's money. So I'm a steward that basically is, you know, running, it's almost like I'm a financial advisor in a way, like you are kind of a thing. Like I have to make sure that this money is being stewarded in a way that it makes somebody better, whether it's my family, myself, or someone else's lives better, right? So, how do I steward that money? Now, whether you're Christian or not, I think and still take on that idea of like, how do I steward that money? Because it's in my life. So, how do I make that money work for me or for others that is benefit for the you know bigger?

SPEAKER_00 8:29

Well, to use for good and make a bigger impact. Absolutely. Absolutely, absolutely. Because most of us, whether we're Christians or not, we want to make an impact. We want to use it for good. So if we think of it that way, okay, how can I steward it for the good? I love that. That I like being able to reshape that. And yes, I'm a Christian. I believe in God, I have faith, and I also believe in whether you believe in it or not, I agree with you, be changing it and flipping it to where it's a steward for good, and how can you use it that way is a really good way to think about that. And coming in and talking about the faith, how does faith or internal trust play a role in building wealth that actually feels good?

SPEAKER_01 9:11

Oh, for me, it's huge. You know what I mean? Because I think there is, think about it this way. If I'm like Christian and I have this, you know, nudge, for instance, whether you're Christian or not, but we all have these nudges, right? And there is this nudge that says, you know what, you need to give uh $100 to this particular person, or you need to, you see the person on the side of the road, give him the dollar, or whatever it might be. We all have this reaction, right? So if the reaction is like, well, maybe I don't have as much as I think I need, but it's me giving the money to somebody else, there is this trust that somehow this money is going to come back to me, right? Or some form that is gonna build me up. So the faith, the trust, I think plays a huge role uh when it comes to stewarding. Now, that also means that when I'm, let's say, hiring someone, that I am hiring them for a certain amount, right? An hourly or salary-wise, or whatever it might be. And I look at the resumes, see if they're gonna perform the job, but there's still some trust that what they're saying, that they are gonna be performing that, right? So we're, if you really think about there's a lot of that trust that comes into all kinds of different areas of our lives, whether it's hiring, whether it's stewarding money, giving it to church, whether it's, you know, let's say your kids, you want to support them going to college, right? And you want to give them money towards their school. Well, there is some trust that, you know, maybe they're gonna do something with it. In today's world, who knows, right? The careers change every five years, kind of a thing, right? So there is a lot of this trust conversation. I think the more you build on that, like for me as a Christian, I think the more you let go, the more it comes back to you. And I, at the beginning, I started like uh testing that. If I give money, not necessarily it's gonna come back right away, but I started seeing, is there money gonna come back to me? And I think the more I did it, the more money started growing and coming back. So I think it's a huge part into the walk that we have in life and in business uh when it comes to this money conversation.

SPEAKER_00 11:17

Oh, absolutely, absolutely, and I love that. And so here's my question though. Why is it that so many successful people still struggle financially, even when they're making good money? Because I see it all the time.

SPEAKER_01 11:32

I think the reason is is because we all in my coaching, one of the things that I've discovered that at the end of the day, each one of us deals with two big fears, and one of them is stronger than the other. One is called, am I loved? You know, am I loved as a person, am as a father, as a mother, or as a kid, or a man, or or whatever, you know, a person, right? Appreciate it, acknowledge those kinds of things. And the other one, I think it's very strong for a lot of people, is that am I enough? And I think am I enough, not only comes to be as a person, enough money, do I have enough money? And the thing is, the more you start to walk through this life when it comes to, let's say, money and being rich, it's never gonna be enough. If you understand that part, there it's never gonna get to a point where it's enough. Like, think about this one. Do you think Elon Musk has enough money? Do you think that he thinks that he has enough money? I'm not sure. I don't know. But this guy is literally the richest person in the world. Is he enough? I don't know. But if he goes and, you know, um, whatever he ends up doing, there's money. I think we have this internal fear that we're constantly battling of being enough. And I think that's why I think a lot of rich people are dealing with that fear, because maybe am I good enough to be in this room with all these people? Am I good enough as a person and good enough as a father, good enough as a money provider, good enough as a moneymaker, and all kinds of different things, right? I think that's the fear that keeps it going, kind of to have that kind of conversation.

SPEAKER_00 13:06

Yeah, yeah, you're right. And a lot of times I'll see where they'll say, Oh, well, when I get this amount of money, this is when I'll do this. And when I get this, I'll do this. And then it comes back to, okay, that's gonna be because then they get there and then they're not happy because now they need to get to another place and you're in that cycle of it never being enough. We get to be worthy enough and enough at the rate we're at. I mean, this reason why I believe being wealthy is so much more than money. It's way we're living our life, it's how we're stewarding, stewarding our life, it's what we're doing. Are we taking care of our bodies? Are we healthy? Our mental, it's all of those things combined. And I talk about this nonstop. And it's because what you're talking about is that where we have that belief of whether we're, you know, loved and are we enough. And I think that a lot of times that does it stops us, stops a lot of us from becoming better at managing the money because we see, okay, well, this is the way it was always happening in my lifeline, not so I'm just gonna, I'm there's no chance. I'm just gonna have to keep doing it. And it comes back to deciding, no, that's not actually, you get to decide. You get to be enough, you get to say, I am enough, and this is enough, and then steward it so that more, you know, comes to you. So I I love that. Um so many entrepreneurs end up in this hustle and overwork, like you're talking about. And why is it that you believe that they've normalized the overwork and the hustle in entrepreneurship? When so many of us that when we go into entrepreneurship, we don't want to, you know what I mean? So many of them will say, I'm not gonna over, I'm not working this, I'm gonna do it, and then they end up in this constant hustle and overwork. Why do you think that is?

SPEAKER_01 14:50

Yeah, that's a great question. Because think about it this way: like, how many of us go into the business that I won't go into the business for myself in order to have some kind of freedom, right? To be free, to, you know, whether it's go on vacation with my family or whatever it might be, right? Or spend time with my wife or whatever it might be. And then five, whatever years later, we're working 80, 90 hours a week, and that vacation, that freedom is further along, further down the line that we thought we were gonna be. And we're making all kinds of different money, right? And I think the reason is one is that like those fears that I just talked about, but I think there is uh I wrote this in my book about uh this framework called Seven Human Drives. And originally got it from a guy named Tony Robbins. He developed this six human needs, and I won seven human drives because I think he left one uh that is really important, and that is the fate one. I think there is a big part of it, the fate that drives all of us. But one of those drives, I'll give you an example, is the drive for significance, feeling important, feeling like a matter. And in that drive, what ends up happening for some people, not all of them, but some people, is this keeping up with the Joneses kind of a thing, right? This looking good, this idea that look what I have kind of a thing. And what ends up happening is if that belief drives you, what ends up happening is that if you are not looking in a healthy way on that, that what ends up happening, you you know, you make the big money, and then it's not so much like how much money you make, but how much money you keep, right? So the keeping part thing, now you have expenses go up. So now you're let's say making a million a year, but your expenses are $999,000, $999, and you have a dollar left in the bank account, and you look like you are super duper successful, but deep down you're struggling, you know, or you live on the credit cards, or the gap is very tight, and now you have to increase the debt, right? And what ends up happening is this idea that keeping up with the Joneses in this particular instance keeps you in that trap. And if you recognize, think about it this way, at the end of the day, nobody really cares. Everybody's just keeping up with their own story of keeping up with the Joneses, but like they're right, right? So if you all of a sudden like, why am I doing all this, right? And maybe let go, right? You laughing because I think it's it's so true.

SPEAKER_00 17:13

It's true, though. It's so true. I'm laughing because it's true. I see it all the time. You're right, you're right. And if we would get out of that and just take care of ourselves and just focus on us and not live up to the gems in that thing, we so many of us would have so much more. So here's the other question: what is the real cost of chasing money without doing the deeper work, without noticing what some of those patterns are and doing the deeper work to change them?

SPEAKER_01 17:42

I think the real cost is fulfillment in life. You know, I don't think you're gonna be fulfilled the way you thought you were gonna be fulfilled. Yeah, because I think that's why, you know, one of my favorite comedians of all time is Robin Williams. I don't know if you loved him. I loved him. This guy was amazing. His skit on golf, like you know, how somebody could like this was Scott or Irish people created golf. I was rolling on the floor when he was doing it. One of the uh, you know, from based on what I believe, he was very rich, right? Because of all the different things.

SPEAKER_00 18:15

At the end of the day, he had everything, he had everything. He was, I mean, when we when I found out he um uh he passed and how he passed, I was I don't know about anybody else, but I was shocked because you're right, he had everything, he he looked happy, he had everything.

SPEAKER_01 18:33

Right. And the thing is, he was not, you know, and I don't know the exact case, but it doesn't seem to me like he was very fulfilled in life, like the purpose or whatever it might be, right? He wasn't, and and I think that's what's a missing element for a lot of people because when I wrote the book, here is what I think also happens. We were born on this earth, we come on this earth, and we are just free, kind of a thing. Think about it like a three, four, five-year-old, right? We're carefree, we don't have any fears, we don't have any worries, we're just curious about life, we're just happy, peppy, like we don't even know what fear is, right? We just go on about life, and then pretty soon we become the sponge and we start learning about life, of what it means, and we start bringing in the beliefs of other people, what they tell us how we need to be, right? Yeah whether it's parents, whether it's school, whether it's society, whatever it might be, and we take on this persona everybody else's, yep. Right. How we need to be in order to what? Survive, not so much thrive, but to survive. And then we go about doing different things in life from those belief systems, and we become this version of us that we operate from. Now, if you just got back to your authentic self, that way you were doing this, right? All of a sudden, maybe I don't have to strive so much for all those different things. You know, when we do these events around the country, one of the first things that we tell people, like, what do you want your vision for your life to look like? Forget the job, forget the money, forget everything.

SPEAKER_00 20:03

I love that. The vision.

SPEAKER_01 20:04

Think about it this way like, don't even put on that vision that you are a multi-gazillionaire, right? Because that's still, in a way, limiting. But what would you want your life to look like? You know what we discover a lot of times? What we discover, and I've done this event probably over a hundred times now. We've had thousands of people come to these events. At the end of the day, what people want is they want that freedom, they want to spend time with the family, they want to, let's say, vacation, they want to, you know, uh have peace in their life, they want to be fulfilled, they want to be happy, right? And what they also discover that some of those, all those different things that they thought they wanted, that's not what they really want, right? And their vision for their life, sometimes it's like, you know, they think it's gonna cost them, you know, a million dollars, but if they they go through this exercise, it maybe costs them in reality maybe 120 grand or something a year. And you're like, oh, that's a lot more achievable, right? So it changes how you operate in life.

SPEAKER_00 20:59

I love that. I love that. So okay. If someone knows they have these patterns, but they feel stuck, tell my listeners where do they start? And I've talked about this before, but I also want them to get a different perspective because again, I tell them there's different perspectives, something might click. And I want them to be able to make the shift. Again, it's a stewardship of being able to help and have the change. So, how can they start to make that shift? Where would they start?

SPEAKER_01 21:30

Well, I think the first thing is awareness. I think a lot of us are not aware of life and of our beliefs. Like up until I was 35 years old, I wasn't aware that I was a people pleaser. That I'm sitting in this mastermind group and I'm talking about my life and things that I'm doing and how I'm operating, and now I'm saying yes to every single of my clients and all those kinds of things, and I'm running like a chicken with a head cut off, kind of a thing, right? And the person on the other end says, Well, dude, you're a people pleaser. I'm like, what? No way.

SPEAKER_00 22:01

Are you serious? I didn't realize I was either. Just someone goes, You do realize you're a people, no, I'm not. Like, yes, you are. Right. I'm like, okay, we got to do something about this. Right.

SPEAKER_01 22:14

And so, because I call them the blind agreements, right? We blindly agreed at some point that this is who I am, kind of a thing. So the awareness, once you are aware of it, we still I think it's important to actually start questioning it. Like, is it really true? Right? Like asking that question, not is it true? Because what we tend to do is uh like we have this something called um, what's the word I'm looking for? Uh, not comparison, but um confirmation bias, right? Confirmation bias. So we're gonna look for things to confirm what we already believe. But what I'm talking about is actually questioning those beliefs. Is it really true? And is this my belief, or is this somebody else's belief? Someone else's belief that was put on me. And we'll start to actually be always starting questioning like, huh? That was my mom that back in the day said that to me, and I took it on like it's my own. Huh, that's not my own. Well, let's look at something else and start believing something else, right? Because we all do this all the time. So when you start doing that, that's a number one step. And I think that's when people quote unquote, let's say, wake up or have epiphany or have a breakthrough moment or whatever my call it.

SPEAKER_00 23:30

And is that where they can start shifting the money that they make to be where it begins to align with who they truly are?

SPEAKER_01 23:37

Yeah, and then they still have to take actions, right? Because think about this.

SPEAKER_00 23:41

What's one of the actions?

SPEAKER_01 23:42

So, like, for instance, one of like like my thing, money's problems, right? So then I start looking, okay, money is I'm a steward of money. So what's my action? Well, I'm walking down the street and I have this nudge in me that I need to give, you know, $10 to this person that's sitting in the corner. I gotta pull out the money and give $10. That's my action, right? And you start to do more of this, start compounding, and you start, well, how I feel about this. Well, I'm feeling really good, actually. It wasn't so bad. All right, well, let's try again. Let's move on. Next thing and next thing, continue. Because here's the thing: if you really think about this, those blind agreements, those beliefs came from repetition. We've been repeating it for years and years and years and years. So let's take on the new belief and start repeating it through different actions or different conversations over and over and over and over again. And before you know it, it's gonna be a new belief, and the old one is gonna kind of go into like you know, the back office kind of a thing.

SPEAKER_00 24:42

Right, right. And the key is to recognize when it starts to try to sneak up into the front office again because it will y'all, it will. It doesn't just disappear and just go off in the back office and lay down and you know never show up. It will, it will try to appear.

SPEAKER_01 25:00

There is one caveat to that I would say is this. If that, because we all have these moments in our life that have such a huge impact that we basically decide that I will never or I will always or whatever, some kind of a strong belief. I think those moments define it so much that you we never go back to the old belief anymore. Because we all done this, you know what I mean? Yeah, so but it's not like those happen every single day, right?

SPEAKER_00 25:31

Right, right.

SPEAKER_01 25:32

So all the other ones, yeah, you gotta like you saying, you gotta be aware, you gotta watch out for them sneaking in. And then, because here's the thing we're human beings, think about this the reptilian brain in our head is all about survival. So if it's you have to be stepping out of your comfort zone, some new belief, guess what? It's gonna be like, oh, this feels scary. Come back, come back to that, it's feel safer in your belief, and that's when try to pull you in. That's when you need to step in and double down, you know, go give another $10, you know, and keep going.

SPEAKER_00 26:01

Yep, absolutely, absolutely. I love that. Okay. What I try to do is like a listener takeaway. So I want to know if you can give my listeners one way that they can move from hustle to alignment. Because I talk about alignment, it in my opinion, it's really important to be aligned with your values and your goals and with how you're spending the money, how you're saving the money, how you're doing your things in order for you to truth to feel wealthy. And so I would love to see or hear what you think that there's some one move that they can make that can move them from this hustle mentality to alignment.

SPEAKER_01 26:41

Okay, I'll tell you this. And for a hustle, because I used to be in a hustle way, this was really hard for me. I call it stare at the wall time. That means that you have to sit down and look at the wall.

SPEAKER_00 26:54

Watch my job because he's gonna say stay still and do nothing.

SPEAKER_01 27:01

Right? I will tell you this.

SPEAKER_00 27:03

I'm not in a hustle mode, but I don't know how to sit still and do nothing. Right.

SPEAKER_01 27:08

Because here's the thing what ends up happening, especially people with hustle, and by the way, this is no judgment from my perspective at all, because I've been there. People who hustle are a lot of times hustling in order to avoid something, dealing with something, whatever. Stare at the wall time. I do this, and sometimes it drives my wife crazy, right? Because what are you doing? You know, you're not being productive or whatever it might be, right?

SPEAKER_00 27:34

See, that's the reason why I don't I I have a hard time sitting still, is because I was taught that you weren't supposed to sit still until you were done with the thing, you know, chores or whatever, and you have to be productive. So, but as soon as you said stare at the wall, I was like, oh no, this is gonna actually fit for the person who my family goes, will you just sit down and just be? And I'm like, no, not until I'm done. You know what I mean? And so I knew you were gonna say that. So this is really cool. This could benefit me and people who are like me as well. So you literally stare at the wall and do nothing.

SPEAKER_01 28:08

I literally stare at the wall and do nothing and just be aware of what's going on in here. And if a thought pops in, you learn how to let go. It's like, you know, at first it's gonna drive you nuts because you literally like sometimes you're gonna have to sit on your hands, right? And you sit on your hands and not do anything. But the more you but listen, I will tell you this the more you do this, the more successful you will be in life. Because here is the thing the hustle thing, right? I feel like I need to do something because if I'm not doing it and I'm being productive, I'm being lazy or whatever it might be, right? Yes, or I'm constantly right away. Where did that belief come from? Who taught you that?

SPEAKER_00 28:50

Oh, I it was taught from corporate and my parents, it was taught from from society.

SPEAKER_01 28:55

It was yeah, yeah, so it's somebody's belief, or like let's say your mom's belief, right? Right, and by the way, someone who tells you to go sit down and like no hustle kind of thing, like stare at the wall, you're like, you know what? Um, no, I can't do that. I'll tell somebody else to do that, but I can't do it, right? Because it's really, really difficult, right? And what ends up happening, the more you do that, the challenges that are gonna come up come up. By the way, your best ideas, my best ideas, like this book, right, that I wrote, came from that staring at the wall time.

SPEAKER_00 29:27

So, how long do you start how how long do you suggest to start like for someone who's never done it before? Okay, and they're gonna do it, they're gonna try it. I mean, you're not gonna say an hour to start, because then I mean, no, I'm I'm I know I wouldn't do it for an hour to start, but what's a what's a time uh how to start it to where it can build up?

SPEAKER_01 29:47

Yeah, start with five, ten minutes, you know what I mean? Because it's not so much about the time, it's about the your reaction, the challenge of it. You know what I mean? Like you you push yourself, kind of a thing. Like, you know, they people talk about meditation, right? And you know, meditation, like the monks, right? You sit there and there's no thought in your head, yeah, and you're like, good luck with that. Right? But here is the thing it you have to start somewhere, right? It's okay if a thought's going through your head. Like you all of a sudden your list pops in of 20,000 things I gotta do because it's on my list. And I forgot to put that on my list. Oh, and by the way, I'm supposed to call that particular person, man. I forgot about that, right?

SPEAKER_00 30:29

But the thing that's when it happens is to go sit on my hands because now I want to grab my phone and go do right.

SPEAKER_01 30:36

But what ends up happening is this. In that moment, what's really important for you to recognize and do is when those thoughts pop in, is you learn to let go of them. Like almost like a, I know I'm being kind of fluffy about this, it's almost like a cloud. Just let the cloud keep going. If the thought comes in, okay, sounds good. Next. And you just let those thoughts kind of go by during the particular time. And the more you do it, the less these thoughts are gonna come in. And that will be a moment that at some point, if you're continually doing this, that you're gonna have this quote-unquote stereotyped time. I find this is no, you know, pun on either sex, whether it's a man or woman, but I find this a lot, like men say we have this empty box. Have you ever heard a man talk about an empty box? Like, there's actually a joke around there that says empty box. Well, you get into the box, there is nothing. You know, like how can someone be like the nothing? Right? Like, how can there be nothing in there? Um, um, some people literally, that seems like there's nothing in here, right? But the thing is, when you get to the point, all of a sudden there's a lot of freedom in that. And you be able to, and it's for hustle people, it's one of the hardest things to do, but it's consider this, it's part of your hustle to be able to incorporate that into your day. And the more you do it, the more you expend it, the better you're gonna get. Because it's gonna get to a point where there's gonna be times you're gonna have to offload certain things to other people and you're gonna grow the business to a way that you're gonna be able to live your life.

SPEAKER_00 32:04

I love that. I love that. Y'all, I'm gonna I'm gonna invite y'all to try that challenge. I'm going to say I'm going to try the challenge. I actually wrote it down because I'm one of the ones who says, meditate. The only time I'm sitting still and quiet is when I'm asleep. Or, you know, if I'm watching TV and I don't watch a lot of TV. So and TV don't count because there's noise. Um, and so I that's why I was laughing. As soon as you used to stare at the wall, I was like, oh, I know exactly what he's gonna say. And it just popped in. I was like, no, like, okay, I'm I feel I feel very called in on that. So I'm gonna invite my listeners to to try it. Let's try it and just see. I will admit I will probably be one of the ones sitting on my hands at first. And y'all, if this episode hit you, if you're realizing that your money patterns go deeper than just strategy, then we need to talk about what's really going on because you can't fix what you can't see, meaning you can't fix what you're not aware of. So go sign up for my free Seven Money Pitfalls email series so that you can start identifying where your money is leaking, whether it's mindset, habits, or systems. Okay. Because once we become aware of that, then we can actually fix it. The link is in the show notes. And until next time, remember confidence and cash are the ultimate power duo. Go check in with your money, and as always, have a fantastic and wealthy day.